The Best Ever Talking Cars

 

Knight Industries Three Thousand AKA KITT(Knightrider)

In the  1980s, if the Hoff wasn’t discretely  hiding his crotch with a strategically placed leather jacket he was chatting  to his customized  car but KITT was so much more than  a car..He was alternatively a raconteur, spiritual guide, warrior  but he was always best buds   to a distressed young billionaire that had lost his face in a terrible gun accident.

The Knight Industries 3000 stood(should that be parked?) by Micheal through thick and thin.

Whether he was turning on the afterburners, finding info on the local heavies  or jumping small rural canyons KITT was reliable,clever and brave.

The ultimate CAR-tner

The BatMobile(The Dark Knight)

Another Billionaire industrialist whose life was so devoid of meaning he built a communicative car just to have something to banter with.

When he returned home  after  his “gap year” which he spent  picking  and smoking blue flowers up the side of a Tibetan hill  and just before he started fighting clowns  he decided to manufacture  the ultimate crime-fighting machine.

Definitely the most boring in terms of personality but  I wouldn’t mess with it either.

Batmans`  famous “no gun” policy does not extend to his wheels as this particular model contains immobilizer missile launchers , a Vulcan gun, a 60mm cannon, and a riot suppressor gun with rubber bullets. also  rocket launchers, and a 200 RPM tranquilizer-firing machine guns.

Herbie(The Love Bug)

A Born Racer and noted Self-starter Herbie was also very good craic for a German and its hard not to respect something that had Lindsey Lohan sitting inside it for months without driving itself off a cliff

What Herbie lacked in sophistication and  verbalisation ability he made up for in character and adorableness

Sure, he couldn’t TALK but you name me a Volkswagen Beatle who COMMUNICATES as well as this little fellow

As #53 would say in his own irascible way  “Beep Beep”

 

Lightning McQueen (Cars)

Like all anthropomorphic computer-generated toy adverts  produced by Pixar, Lightning McQueen needed to learn a valuable life lesson before the end of the film.

Though he started off as a brash arrogant care-free roadster, an incident in Radiator Springs involving his tow truck  and friend Mackey transformed his outlook on life and turned him into the smart sweet and soulful car we all grew to love.

Optimus Prime(Transformers)

If you were to  strip away all the  intergalactic battling, amazing leadership to an endangered species,level-headedness  under pressure in the face of unyielding adversity , the sophisticated extra-terrestrial robtics and cool flaming paint job…..Optimus Prime is a boring old man made of tin.

Benny the Cab (Who Framed Roger Rabbit?)

Benny was loud,  rude and  inconsiderate to other road users. He seemed unsure of quickest possible routes and talked incessantly about things he clearly didn’t understand. In many ways,the perfect on-screen representation of Taxi Culture

Little Green Cars

Should they even qualify for this list ?A controversial choice.

Well they mightn’t talk but they do sing and they are good at it and I like them so they made the list…SHUT-UP

Footballers and Cars: The Good the Bad and the Ugly(and Stephen Ireland)

 

Zlatan Ibrahimović and the Porsche 918 Spyder

He scored on his debut for Manchester United at the weekend and he has scored off it with this beast of a machine.  Zlatan is a stylish player and he is also a very very stylish driver. He was recently photographed in Stockholm cruising around in this absolute beauty.

When he first met super agent Mino  Raiola, a 21-year-old Zlatan, was told to get rid of the Gucci clothes , his watches and the flash car he arrived in.Hard work, he added, would be everything. The material things would come on the back of playing success.

After  13 League titles  in 4 different countries in the 15 years since that meeting took place we think the big fella deserved this one.

Angel di Maria and Cheverlot Corvet Stingray

Angel didn’t stay long in Manchester after having his house burgled and failing to settle into Louis Van Gaal struggling side. So he spread his wings(get it? because he is an angel??) and headed to  Paris St.Germain.

At Least he would have  enjoyed the drive across the channel in this awesome American muscle car.

Though we can`t remember the Argentine  doing anything of note as a footballer in England we salute your ability to purchase  a top of the range supercar

Neymar and the Audi R8

Neymar seen here in Barcelona cruising down Las Ramblas with an unidentified pal.

Whoever the passenger is, we hope he knows how  lucky he is  to have a friend like Neymar ,that is so good at football and nice enough to take his friends for laps of the city in his cool car…Very cool Car!!

The Bad

Jurgen Klinsmann and the  Volkswagen Beetle

How many small boys can you fit in a VW Beatle? not many of us are in a position to answer this question , but Jurgen Klinsmann was determined to find out so he asked some young spurs fans to meet him in a car park.

At a press conference, a couple of days after he was asked again “Jurgen could you please tell us how many Boys you got in the car?”

The German striker  coolly responded “Nein”

 

Benoît Assou-Ekotto and the Smart FourTwo

 

A Footballer who hates football was never going to be caught in a Bentley or a Porsche or a Ferrari . There is something almost admirable about a man that  so devoted to his principles that he is prepared to drive around in a toy car whilst

He Told the Guardian that”football is not my passion. ” Well clearly motoring isn’t either but  at least it`s cheap to fill the tank .The last thing you want when you are making £60,000 a week is to be worrying about fuel costs.

Wayne Rooney and the Ford Ka Sport 1.6l

Wayne Rooney was a pretty cool kid. and like all cool kids he wanted a cool car. not content with JUST a classic Ford KA he paid the extra dosh for the sportss upgrade and the personalised number plate.

Unfortunately ,his spelling wasn’t as good as his taste in nifty little compacts.

“ROO N1 ,ROO N1,ROO N1”

Shay Given and the Piaggio Ape

You have to respect a man willing to leave the shores of home and seek out work in foreign fields. The only problem is Shay is a Premier league goalie and  not a builder specialising in tarmacking  driveways

Though he probably made a great save on the price he could probably do with getting something a little more appropriate for a man in his position

Still though, the thumbs-up would suggest he is absolutely loving it so let just let him at it

The Ugly

El Hadji Diouf and the Cadillac Escalade

No it is not the Jokers car from the awful “Suicide Squad” but you would want to be a bit of a clown to drive one.

Step forward(or gently ease off the clutch and press down on the accelerator) El Hadji Diouf

Even by footballing standards, Diouf is a terrible person.Known for spitting, biting

and eh…….gold-plating a Cadillac SUV.

Check,Check and Check

Mario Balotelli and the Bentley Continental  GT

“Why Alway Me? said Balotelli’s T-shirt when he felt the public unfairly focused on the often erratic Italian  footballer and his crazy behaviour..

It might be alway you because you drive around in a camouflaged car when the camouflage does the exact opposite thing that camoflague is meant to do .

If he didn’t want anymore attention he should have sprayed it to make it look like a Ford Focus!

Jermaine Pennant and the Aston Martin DBS

Car Sprayer: Alright Jermain,Nice Aston what can i do for you?

Jermaine Pennant: Well I’d like it to look like a Japanese space toilet?

Car sprayer: Hows this ?

Jermain Pennant: That is spot on mate!! could you take a photo of me in it , outside a burrito bar?

Car Sprayer: i know just the place

Jermaine: Swwwweeeeet

The Stephen Irelands

Take some nice cars and then mix them with your favourite Crayola colours and you have a fleet of Stephen Irelands` cars

the pictures speak for themselves..

Its Last Nights Top NBA Play-Off Plays

There cannot be a better sporting organisation that packages and shares its content the way that the National Basketball League so. Every day they upload countless videos,clips and highlight reels. My favourite is the top 5 plays of the night. So when we get up here on almost the other side of the world we can watch  The most amazing feats of athletic endeavour  this planet has to offer over a nice bowl of CHOCO-RICE

And it`s  all free

Subscribe to the NBA youtube channel HERE

Watch Kyle Sinckler Bullock 35m for a Superb Try

The Aviva Preimership(more highlights here) gets a bad rap for dull forward orientated rubbish. To tear up those outdated myths here is a bright young Quin shredding through the London Irish defense . His name   is Kyle Sinckler which sounds like the name of a Californian dot com millionaire he is ,in fact, a 19 stone 22 year old Harliquin.

You can view his player profile here

Here is a picture of him looking positively terrifying in an England jersey.You might be seeing a lot more of him dressed in white

Will Someone Please Buy These for Me?

Since I first saw guys doing reviews of sneakers online I thought there is the job for me. i genuinely have no idea how you get to a point where shoe companies are sending you stock to test out but I really want to get there. Failing that a pair of this gorgeous Nike Zoom HyperRev 2016 would be an acceptable substitute

I love show reviews and my favourite of the many blogs that do them must email them in my CV but  if you want to check out the latest footwear reviews here is where to do it

And  if you are going to get me a pair I want them in black

 

Rathmines Yoga Studio: Just Do It

I may have taken some comedic licence with my previous couple of posts about my first yoga class. Just in case your American and don’t understand  irony or something I would like to state for the record that i enjoyed the  class as much as one can enjoy any act of physical endeavour.

Our instructor was friendly, informative and above all very patient and I really did enjoy the experience and I would highly recommend at least trying a  “Yoga for beginners” class. you can get more information and sign up here

They also have a  very good Yoga Rathmines Blog where they post  up interesting articles about yoga and previews of what they will be concentrating on in the upcoming classes

 

 

So I Tried Yoga This Week: Part 2

read part one  here 

The room had an artificial feeling temperature and an artificial smell of lemongrass. The instructor was   a small,lithe man who I figured could bend himself into an 8 if needs be. A personable fellow we seemed to bond. The class started and all airs and graces dropped. He was stone cold serious about all this. I was surprised when he asked us to remove our shoes and delighted to discover i had worn a pair of cleanish socks. I gave them a quick squirt of the lemongrass when i went to take out my mat

“You’ll probably need to take two, you`re a big guy”

“For you”

My humorous reference to Christophers Nolans masterpiece The  Dark Knight Rises seemed lost on this lad and i began to think about how many other pop references would float over his head,as we assumed the lotus position. I should have been thinking about my breathing because all of a sudden my head seemed to cop that my body had ran away with itself

I should have been thinking about my breathing because all of a sudden my head began to float and my knees began to ache. I thought my legs were separating from my body. Injuries  flared up like an arthritic phoenix from the flames. I was in trouble. I needed to concentrate.. What was it again  “in” …and then “out” or “out” and then “in”…what came after “out” again… basic aerobic function is actually quite difficult to manage when trying to conceal intense joint pain from fellow “beginners”

Speaking of my fellow beginner, they didn’t seem to have the same level of difficulties with “maintaining their core or putting  their leg over the back of a chair. This was tough and getting tougher. In the most literal way possible I turned to the nearest wall for support but even that was a pure failure.

A slight loss in equilibrium whilst trying to  place the ball of my foot on the inside of  my knee had me reaching for anything in an attempt at corrective action.. unfotunately a loose hanging blind was the nearest option and it was not a good one.. i tumbled, they laughed, he tutted i tumbled some more he laughed

Despite the immense discomfort and acute embarrassment once the ordeal had ended I retroactively decided that it was all brilliant and  as I limped home with my shoes in my hand, like a Tipperary girl after an ursline  debs, I decided that I would do this again very soon but for now it was back to the couch and the coco-pops

 

 

Bill Simmons is Back

The massive sport and pop culture vacum resulting from the unexpected decision by ESPN to shutdown Grantland.com and fire the BS sports guy Bill Simmon finally looks like its being filled by the same man under a different name

Simmons recently launched his new website TheRinger.com. So far its just a newsletter and brilliant podcasts. The shows are the usual mix of celebrity interviews(Louis C.K,Keye and Peele) movie expert Micheal Rabaport and  insightful chats with his best friends Joe House and Cousin Sal

I think Bill simmons is one f the main reasons i started a sports blog and its great to have him back

sign up for the newsletter here

Podcast: Round 2 for Transatlantic/Division

Its the second round of the play offs so Jim Elliot and myself were back in studio to record the second episode of Ireland only NBA podcast hosted by Two Dublin based comedians

This time round we discussed the NBA players i would really really like to be friends with. how things have evened up in both the eastern and western conferences and how much injuries have impacted the chances of some of the teams remaining

There is also plenty of chat about the amazing Golden State Warriors, The iso-heavy Spurs  and the Tenacious Thunder

And of course Maurice and his horn are back

Hope you have as much fun listening as we did putting it together

The best place on the web for Rugby clips

 

Do you love Rugby? Do you love clips related to the aforementioned sport? Then this is the website for you. It was been the best place to go for videos which range  from amazing to funny with everything else in between. In the last week there has been a  hilarious video of a referee whose instinct seems to take over as he robs the ball before realising that well, he is the ref

There’s also all the usual brilliant skills on show in the southern club super  championship. Flicks, kicks ridiculous offloads there are great examples of all of it on rugbydump.com

There is also a really good forum where you can chat to rugby lovers all over the world

It really is a must for any rugby fans

The guys behind the site have been doing a top job for years and long may it continue

Click the link ad get lost for days!!

http://www.rugbydump.com/