The Best Ever Talking Cars

 

Knight Industries Three Thousand AKA KITT(Knightrider)

In the  1980s, if the Hoff wasn’t discretely  hiding his crotch with a strategically placed leather jacket he was chatting  to his customized  car but KITT was so much more than  a car..He was alternatively a raconteur, spiritual guide, warrior  but he was always best buds   to a distressed young billionaire that had lost his face in a terrible gun accident.

The Knight Industries 3000 stood(should that be parked?) by Micheal through thick and thin.

Whether he was turning on the afterburners, finding info on the local heavies  or jumping small rural canyons KITT was reliable,clever and brave.

The ultimate CAR-tner

The BatMobile(The Dark Knight)

Another Billionaire industrialist whose life was so devoid of meaning he built a communicative car just to have something to banter with.

When he returned home  after  his “gap year” which he spent  picking  and smoking blue flowers up the side of a Tibetan hill  and just before he started fighting clowns  he decided to manufacture  the ultimate crime-fighting machine.

Definitely the most boring in terms of personality but  I wouldn’t mess with it either.

Batmans`  famous “no gun” policy does not extend to his wheels as this particular model contains immobilizer missile launchers , a Vulcan gun, a 60mm cannon, and a riot suppressor gun with rubber bullets. also  rocket launchers, and a 200 RPM tranquilizer-firing machine guns.

Herbie(The Love Bug)

A Born Racer and noted Self-starter Herbie was also very good craic for a German and its hard not to respect something that had Lindsey Lohan sitting inside it for months without driving itself off a cliff

What Herbie lacked in sophistication and  verbalisation ability he made up for in character and adorableness

Sure, he couldn’t TALK but you name me a Volkswagen Beatle who COMMUNICATES as well as this little fellow

As #53 would say in his own irascible way  “Beep Beep”

 

Lightning McQueen (Cars)

Like all anthropomorphic computer-generated toy adverts  produced by Pixar, Lightning McQueen needed to learn a valuable life lesson before the end of the film.

Though he started off as a brash arrogant care-free roadster, an incident in Radiator Springs involving his tow truck  and friend Mackey transformed his outlook on life and turned him into the smart sweet and soulful car we all grew to love.

Optimus Prime(Transformers)

If you were to  strip away all the  intergalactic battling, amazing leadership to an endangered species,level-headedness  under pressure in the face of unyielding adversity , the sophisticated extra-terrestrial robtics and cool flaming paint job…..Optimus Prime is a boring old man made of tin.

Benny the Cab (Who Framed Roger Rabbit?)

Benny was loud,  rude and  inconsiderate to other road users. He seemed unsure of quickest possible routes and talked incessantly about things he clearly didn’t understand. In many ways,the perfect on-screen representation of Taxi Culture

Little Green Cars

Should they even qualify for this list ?A controversial choice.

Well they mightn’t talk but they do sing and they are good at it and I like them so they made the list…SHUT-UP

Footballers and Cars: The Good the Bad and the Ugly(and Stephen Ireland)

 

Zlatan Ibrahimović and the Porsche 918 Spyder

He scored on his debut for Manchester United at the weekend and he has scored off it with this beast of a machine.  Zlatan is a stylish player and he is also a very very stylish driver. He was recently photographed in Stockholm cruising around in this absolute beauty.

When he first met super agent Mino  Raiola, a 21-year-old Zlatan, was told to get rid of the Gucci clothes , his watches and the flash car he arrived in.Hard work, he added, would be everything. The material things would come on the back of playing success.

After  13 League titles  in 4 different countries in the 15 years since that meeting took place we think the big fella deserved this one.

Angel di Maria and Cheverlot Corvet Stingray

Angel didn’t stay long in Manchester after having his house burgled and failing to settle into Louis Van Gaal struggling side. So he spread his wings(get it? because he is an angel??) and headed to  Paris St.Germain.

At Least he would have  enjoyed the drive across the channel in this awesome American muscle car.

Though we can`t remember the Argentine  doing anything of note as a footballer in England we salute your ability to purchase  a top of the range supercar

Neymar and the Audi R8

Neymar seen here in Barcelona cruising down Las Ramblas with an unidentified pal.

Whoever the passenger is, we hope he knows how  lucky he is  to have a friend like Neymar ,that is so good at football and nice enough to take his friends for laps of the city in his cool car…Very cool Car!!

The Bad

Jurgen Klinsmann and the  Volkswagen Beetle

How many small boys can you fit in a VW Beatle? not many of us are in a position to answer this question , but Jurgen Klinsmann was determined to find out so he asked some young spurs fans to meet him in a car park.

At a press conference, a couple of days after he was asked again “Jurgen could you please tell us how many Boys you got in the car?”

The German striker  coolly responded “Nein”

 

Benoît Assou-Ekotto and the Smart FourTwo

 

A Footballer who hates football was never going to be caught in a Bentley or a Porsche or a Ferrari . There is something almost admirable about a man that  so devoted to his principles that he is prepared to drive around in a toy car whilst

He Told the Guardian that”football is not my passion. ” Well clearly motoring isn’t either but  at least it`s cheap to fill the tank .The last thing you want when you are making £60,000 a week is to be worrying about fuel costs.

Wayne Rooney and the Ford Ka Sport 1.6l

Wayne Rooney was a pretty cool kid. and like all cool kids he wanted a cool car. not content with JUST a classic Ford KA he paid the extra dosh for the sportss upgrade and the personalised number plate.

Unfortunately ,his spelling wasn’t as good as his taste in nifty little compacts.

“ROO N1 ,ROO N1,ROO N1”

Shay Given and the Piaggio Ape

You have to respect a man willing to leave the shores of home and seek out work in foreign fields. The only problem is Shay is a Premier league goalie and  not a builder specialising in tarmacking  driveways

Though he probably made a great save on the price he could probably do with getting something a little more appropriate for a man in his position

Still though, the thumbs-up would suggest he is absolutely loving it so let just let him at it

The Ugly

El Hadji Diouf and the Cadillac Escalade

No it is not the Jokers car from the awful “Suicide Squad” but you would want to be a bit of a clown to drive one.

Step forward(or gently ease off the clutch and press down on the accelerator) El Hadji Diouf

Even by footballing standards, Diouf is a terrible person.Known for spitting, biting

and eh…….gold-plating a Cadillac SUV.

Check,Check and Check

Mario Balotelli and the Bentley Continental  GT

“Why Alway Me? said Balotelli’s T-shirt when he felt the public unfairly focused on the often erratic Italian  footballer and his crazy behaviour..

It might be alway you because you drive around in a camouflaged car when the camouflage does the exact opposite thing that camoflague is meant to do .

If he didn’t want anymore attention he should have sprayed it to make it look like a Ford Focus!

Jermaine Pennant and the Aston Martin DBS

Car Sprayer: Alright Jermain,Nice Aston what can i do for you?

Jermaine Pennant: Well I’d like it to look like a Japanese space toilet?

Car sprayer: Hows this ?

Jermain Pennant: That is spot on mate!! could you take a photo of me in it , outside a burrito bar?

Car Sprayer: i know just the place

Jermaine: Swwwweeeeet

The Stephen Irelands

Take some nice cars and then mix them with your favourite Crayola colours and you have a fleet of Stephen Irelands` cars

the pictures speak for themselves..

Its Last Nights Top NBA Play-Off Plays

There cannot be a better sporting organisation that packages and shares its content the way that the National Basketball League so. Every day they upload countless videos,clips and highlight reels. My favourite is the top 5 plays of the night. So when we get up here on almost the other side of the world we can watch  The most amazing feats of athletic endeavour  this planet has to offer over a nice bowl of CHOCO-RICE

And it`s  all free

Subscribe to the NBA youtube channel HERE

Will Someone Please Buy These for Me?

Since I first saw guys doing reviews of sneakers online I thought there is the job for me. i genuinely have no idea how you get to a point where shoe companies are sending you stock to test out but I really want to get there. Failing that a pair of this gorgeous Nike Zoom HyperRev 2016 would be an acceptable substitute

I love show reviews and my favourite of the many blogs that do them must email them in my CV but  if you want to check out the latest footwear reviews here is where to do it

And  if you are going to get me a pair I want them in black

 

Rathmines Yoga Studio: Just Do It

I may have taken some comedic licence with my previous couple of posts about my first yoga class. Just in case your American and don’t understand  irony or something I would like to state for the record that i enjoyed the  class as much as one can enjoy any act of physical endeavour.

Our instructor was friendly, informative and above all very patient and I really did enjoy the experience and I would highly recommend at least trying a  “Yoga for beginners” class. you can get more information and sign up here

They also have a  very good Yoga Rathmines Blog where they post  up interesting articles about yoga and previews of what they will be concentrating on in the upcoming classes

 

 

No Frills Rating System is Not Shit

Rugby is rarely binary but it is easy to see who is doing the business and who is stinking the joint out. The guys over at Bloodandmud.com have taken the best and worst performers from the weekends European action and judged on very simple criteria. Are they SHIT or are the GOOD

Brilliant in its simplicity

http://www.bloodandmud.com/2016/04/shitgood-player-ratings-european-rugby-quarter-finals.html

Very Good Piece about Connaught

from http://www.whiffofcordite.com

. this blog is what I would love this one to turn into always worth checking out but i particularly loved this piece about Connaught

really well written with some very interesting and fresh takes about the rise and rise of the men from the west

https://whiffofcordite.com/2016/04/07/trophy-time-in-de-wesht/

Looking Like a Total Flanker

Here is  an article i wrote a while back for Balls.ie

here are the first couple

Pink

In 2006 Stade Francais president Max Guazzini introduced pink jerseys as an attempt to shock the “macho world” of rugby. Typically those trendy Parisians were on to something and it spread like wildfire.

Somehow macho rugby players thought that wearing a colour perceived as effeminate made them even more macho.

Once the fuschia flood gates opened there was no going back. With the shock factor dying incrementally over the past ten years too and the number of clubs attempting to cash in on pinkmania rising sharply. Now the colour is ubiquitous in the game. Raised eyebrows have given way to indifferent shrugs as it has become the unofficial colour of the sport. Grand for the effortlessly cool French known for their sartorial elegance, not so much for the rest of us for whom it does it does little else besides highlight our beer bellies.

Customized Headgear

This seems to be an attempt by players to look hard by drawing animal prints on their neoprene safety hats.

Like a large amount of rugby fashion trends, Welsh players seemed to be the biggest victims. Our main culprit was Simon Easterby, though in his defense he was playing for Llanelli at the time. So maybe he was susceptible to dressing room peer pressure.

Players could get the intimidating look of their favorite dangerous animals like “Cobra”, “Leopard”, “Tiger” and  “Zebra”.

You still see them occasionally but like the animals they were copying they are an endangered species these days.

and here is a link to the full article

http://www.balls.ie/rugby/6-worst-fashion-trends-rugby-gear/322137